Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
