When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize