For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
