I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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