I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
