Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
