Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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