Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
you had me at cake vodka
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
