She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
