Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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