shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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