Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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