So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
