We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
