If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
