The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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