its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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