i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The adults are the big ones right?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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