He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
