Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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