U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
