I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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