In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
