I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
