so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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