so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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