Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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