once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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