I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
