why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize