What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
