Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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