Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
