Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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