i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
