What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I am one with the molecules
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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