Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
they need to just BURY HIM!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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