you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
