the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think I have vodka in my lungs
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
