It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
