take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
