just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
