More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
