Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
