There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
