When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
3 2 1 whiskey
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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