Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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