I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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