i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
