So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
