I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize