3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
