nut hugger
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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