Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
