Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
