Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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