(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize