She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
